So...
Umm...
...Watsup?

lol man. So blank right now. I really don't know what to write here. It's not like I don't have any stories to tell. I do. A lot. Just don't think they're that important to write about. Life's is getting a little boring over here. A little too predictable lately. Not to mention, it's getting hotter and hotter in class. I wish they would fixed the AC in the bio lab. *grumblesgrumbles*

Well...
Hmm...
Anyway...

I guess I should just something about what I've been doing lately. Okay, first thing's first.

At school, me and my friends decided to compose a song about our ex school. We called it the "Ex PAP Ambitions". I was the one who came up with the title of the song! *grinsgrins*
Okay, maybe the title is a LITTLE lame but it's the only thing I can come up with at the time.

So, the song is made up of three different parts. In a way, it's more like three songs but with the same title. Maybe I should make it into an album title and give the three songs their own individual names....Hmm...

Anyway, I'll talk more about the three parts in one song or one album or whatever thing next time. It's getting late. Again. Maybe I should learn to write in the morning. Oh well. Can't do anything now. I'm off to bed. See ya.
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So it's another boring week in my oh-so-uninteresting life. Yeah.....

Anyway, nothing worth mentioning happened today. Just the usual. As usual.

Though there was that near-fight situation...
But like I said, "near-fight"...
the fight was over before it even began..
Dammit.
Lol I was hoping for it to happen but...

Sigh...

Man I feel so bored and down and bored and hungry...and maybe a lil sleepy.

Oh well. It's getting late. I should head to bed now. I really need to get up early tomorrow.

(Sorry if it sounds a lil boring. I really don't feel like writing right now. My eyes is ready to just close. But it's not an excuse to not write better. I promise to write something a little more 'interesting'.)

On a positive side, I met and talked with the one I like. I even gave her a tiny origami box. Sigh...happiness...? Maybe.
Sadness? A little bit coz I didn't talk to her that long since class was about to start.
I really like her....
Problem is....she just wants to be friends for now. :(

Oh well. Just have to try harder next time. And thanks for the muffins. They were small and tiny but they were just perfect. I love chocolate muffins. ;)
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So I was just browsing through the internet when a friend of mine IM me on MSN and told me to check out this vid, Dead Fantasy. What else? I checked it out.

When I saw it, my mouth was literally an open gap. That's how awesome the vid was. It was SO COOOOL!!! Dead Fantasy is a fan service video of the girls from Final Fantasy and Dead Or Alive. It's the best vid I've ever seen.

Lol to make it easier, below is the vid I'm talking about.

Dead Fantasy Ep.1


So you don't have to wait, here's the continuation.

Dead Fantasy Ep.2


These two vids are every fans dream. Both fans of Final Fantasy AND Dead Or Alive. It was made by this guy Monty Oum and I think he's a freaking GENIUS!

I truly praise him for these two gems of a video. If you want to see more of his works, check out his profile at gametrailers.com or you could even search for his vids on the internet.

Here's the link to his profile:

So check them out, ok?
Update soon.

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So I'm not that big of a fan of Jesse McCartney but I do like some of his songs. My favorite song of all his songs could be "Just So You Know". I like it maybe because I could relate to that song in some way. It's hard to explain why but I could "feel" the song. But it's a really nice song.


Now he's coming out with a new album, with a totally new genre. He used to sing the "Pop" music but now he's doing a"hip-hop/RnB" beat. And that's not the only thing that changed. He has a new look now to fit with his new album. With short black hair (or is it dark brown?), he lost the innocent look and took on a more mature one.

But seeing as he's 21, I guess it's time to have an adult audience for a change. But it doesn't change the fact that he is going to get attention from both the young AND adults.

He's releasing a new single from his new album titled "Leavin' ". It's a song that clearly shows his ability to adapt to hip-hop. It's a cool song in my opinion. So check it out.

Below is the official music video of his new single, Leavin'.


(WARNING! M-rated: May contain scenes not appropriate for children viewing. For mature audience only)

There are remixes of this new song found at youtube too if anyone is interested. I only listened to a few but I guess the best one I've heard could be the RnB mix made by Eye Q.

The new album will be out on May 2o. So make sure to keep an eye out for it if you want to listen to the new songs.
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So now it's the final part of the story. I hope it's the last part.
I talked about the surprise cake surprise, the one about the missing pencil case..

Now it's time to talk about my other friend. She's one of the first friends I made in my new school. I've only known her for a few weeks, but she's a nice person. Friendly and maybe...caring? Lol don't know yet. But I hope she is. Coz I like her XP

She has this habit of saying 'awww~' in this cute (but sometimes annoying:P) way. Just thinking about it is making me smile. I guess that's what makes her so special. She's always so cheerful. Always smiling. It does get old though. All that 'awww-ing'. Hehe gets somewhat annoying actually. But in a good way. Can annoying be a good thing?

Anyway, as usual I'm getting sidetracked. Again. Every time I'm trying to explain things or tell a story, I'm always distracted. I'm always talking about something so not related to the topic in hand. Just to show how much I like to talk, or in this case, write. Even now.

So about this friend. She was so happy before. Then, it happened. i really don't know who or why. I still don't know why but someone made her cry.

She was doing ok before but afterwards...
I don't know the full story but when she was hanging out with her friends, I guess someone said something about her or something. I think it was meant to be a joke but she took it to heart. After he/she said that, she cried.

Seeing her like that...It was unbearable. I would've done anything to make her happy again. To make her smile again. I wanted to go to her, thinking maybe I could calm her down somehow.

But she was with her friends and they were trying all they could to stop her from crying. thankfully it was one of those silent cries. There's nothing more she wants at that time than unwanted attention. Especially considering the situation.

I wanted to be with her so much but i had to distance myself from her at that time. I was afraid that, being me, I would say or do something that could make it even worse. i mean if her friends can't help her, what are MY chances of making her stop crying. I can only watch her from afar. I wish I had taken that chance. Maybe I could have made any difference.

Before I could even decide whether to go talk to her, it was time for my next class. But she was walking with her friends, who were going to the same class as me, so I decided to walk with her. But...by the time I reached her, I was afraid.

I was afraid to talk to her. She stopped crying by then but she looked so sad. So delicate. She looked as if she might break. She had swollen, red eyes. Sad eyes. She looked like she was thinking about something. All I can do is watch. I beat up myself for being such a COWARD!

For the next few days, she became quiet. So quiet.

i was afraid she would never speak again. Never smile again. I gathered my courage to try and talk to her. But to no response. All she did was nod...or shake her head...when I asked her if she was ok or not, whether she needed someone to talk with, etc. She just said that she needed time. Time to think about some stuffs. Time to deal with by herself. She spoke with such a small voice, I almost didn't catch them.

I understood what she wanted. I respect her wishes.
But she was pushing people away.
She was pushing me away.

I know I don't know her that well. And she doesn't know me that well either. But...I don't know.

Now, she's back to her old self. She's talking again. She's smiling again. She's happy again. I was glad she was doing ok. I never ever want to see her being sad again.

Sorry. I said earlier that it was going to be a short one. But it ended up being too long. I just wanted to write everything down. Everything before I forget.

It's just that I feel so useless. All I can do is watch when someone, someone i care, gets hurt. Every time I do try to help them, I always say the wrong things, or do the wrong things...

I'm not really that good when dealing with other people's emotions. I may talk or say stuffs like these so easily as if I'm an expert on them. But matter of fact, I don't. I just say these things so i wouldn't have to deal with them myself. I don't have to deal with MY compressed emotions.

I guess that's what makes me a bad friend. I seemed to not care about them. I do. I just don't know how to deal with them. Sometimes I just ignore the problem and start all over again. But I'm getting off track again. I guess I'll talk about this maybe next time. Or never. Whenever.

For now, I'm just glad that my friends are doing alright. Or at least, better than before.
Please don't be depressed you guys.

Till next time. Bye.
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Okay so part II of the story is finally here.

Remember when I mentioned that everyone was so tense in my previous post?
Well here's the scoop.

This situation happened this week. The second week of the weirdest week of my life. In the first week, there was a couple of "events" that were unbearable and heartbreaking ( well...maybe not 'heartbreaking') but I shouldn't mention it here since it IS a personal matter.
Don't want to make stupid speculations right?

Anyway, about this week. Everyone was so tense. So weird. They were all on edge. They would get mad, not angry, MAD when someone or something is making noises. They were easily annoyed by almost anything.

Okay when I meant "everyone", I'm not really implying "everyone".
It's just that the number of my friends who were not in the mood that day could be considered as "many" so I just used the term "everyone". Some were ok and carefree enough.

So the most I was worried this week could be two of my friends. They were SO NOT in the mood this week I was almost afraid to sit near them or even look at them. They were SO moody...
They were actually making me moody this week.

But I mean, who can blame them right? They both have reasonable reasons as to why they acted the way they did. I kinda feel bad for them. I really do. I wish those things didn't happened to them. Especially them. They didn't do anything to deserve the things that happened to them.

It's just...not...fair....

The first one is actually an old friend of mine. We've been friends for what...3-5 years now?
She's also the one of first girls I ever confessed to. Well...ever since...you know...my Last...

I know I shouldn't post something like this. Something so personal to me and to the other party. She would kill me if she gets a word of this. But I'm not ashamed or embarrassed. Though she rejected me (still hurts btw. :P just kidding) but we're still close friends and still going strong. I would always cherished her as a friend. Wouldn't have any other way. Same goes to my other friends too of course. But I'm getting off-topic again. Back to the story.

These few weeks were not her best weeks. Coz her pencil case was stolen. I don't know why or how or who did it. All that I know is that it was stolen and still is. Apparently the culprit took advantage when she was in the muti-purpose hall. She put her bag outside with the rest of my other friends. They were told to put their bags outside and only allowed to bring a testpad/paper
and a pen to write stuffs down.

Although she didn't put her pencil case back into her bag, but she did put it in her file (I think) and covered it with a bag of a friend of ours. Unless the person who took it already know what he/she was looking for. So it's almost impossible to take it.

It was heartbreaking (here's the "heartbreaking" part i mentioned earlier. :D but seriously...) to see her like that. She was so down. So moody. So not in the mood to talk. I guess she handled it pretty well. From what I've seen anyway.

But the way she handled it. Keeping all those emotions bottled up inside. It must been tearing her from the inside out. Conflicts of feelings. Between just break down and give in to the tears. Or give in to the blinding rage.
It's hard for me. Just looking at her. Unable to do anything. Unable to help in any way. I felt so useless at that point.
But she wasn't the only one who was down this week.

I'll continue this one next time. It'll be just a short one. (I hope)
So till next time then. See you.
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These past two weeks could be the weirdest, most bizarre weeks of all weeks I've ever experience.
In my life. Ever. In the history of all my life.

Everyone was acting so serious. So tense. So weird.
The air was so tense you could literally cut it with a knife. Literally. I've tried it.

Okay, reading back, I found out i'm not making the slightest sense whatsoever. Even explaining it now, even I can't understand it. And I'm the one writing it.
Sigh I guess I should list it down from the beginning.
Okay here I go. Wish me luck. (stop rolling your eyes, shel)


LOL okay. First of all, I guess it all began on the first day of last week. It was the day after my birthday. The day previous, not so many people greeted me a happy birthday. Just a few of my close friends. It was understandable since I am not THAT famous and that the rest of my friends would just greet me on monday. But I was disappointed.

Sure some of my closest friends, who didn't greet me on sunday, greeted me then but the others didn't even say hi to me. At least, I think they didn't. But if they did, and maybe I was just in my own world, I'm sorry. But that doesn't mean i forgive you guys for not saying happy birthday to me. I was sad that day, can't remember why, and not doing that made me even down.

But all that changed. I was just arriving at the cafeteria during break time and just as i was going to grab a chair, there was this 'yeahh...'ing and 'woo...'ing sounds. I thought it was all in my head. Since I am having an overly active imagination these few weeks. :P

Anyway, I was just ignoring the sounds and when I looked up, I saw my friend bringing a cake out of the fridge from the school canteen. Don't know how, or why, I did what I did but I stood up and went to buy a drink. I actually walked past my friend who was bringing the cake.

Everyone was waiting for me at the table and i was standing at the counter. It was actually kinda funny. They didn't even realize I was gone. That shows how good a ninja I am. *wink*wink*

It was so embarassing...
Yet I was happy. I love you guys, u guys know that?
YA'LL DA BESTEST FRENZ I CUD EVR HAV IN MY LYF!!!

hehe here's a pic of the cake they bought me. It was simple but it's the thought that counts. Couldn't have it any other way. Thanks u guys. It was a good cake. :D


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Everyone is doing blogs these days. Don't know what's the attraction. Don't get me wrong. I like blogging bcoz it's a place where I write stuffs. From news to things that happen in myself and even stuffs that is bothering me. It's a place where I could just write without someone critisizing my English or whatever.

I've been blogging since last year. But not here. I used to have a blog at friendster. Still do. But haven't found the right time to write anything. So now I decided to make a new blog.Anyway, blogs have really become overrated nowadays. Just about anyone can make them now. No matter how old or where they're from. A few blogs that I've found were helpful and really good. Some were just ok. Others were just plain bad.

Most just write things that happened recently in their lives. Some even post things like pictures and audio clips to videos and stuffs.

It was so weird. All that hocus pocus. It freaked me out so much that it makes me so afraid and sometimes made me see things that shouldn't be there. Things that aren't really 'there'. (Well I hope it's not really there.)

I know I shouldn't write this here of all places but I actually tried it. One of the rituals. More like stupid mumbo jumbo. It was one of those rituals that try to summon spirits or ghost of the past. I was so nervous when I did it. I didn't know which I was more nervous. That I might messed it up and call someone or someTHING....else..or that I might actually see her again.

It wasn't like some witchcraft voodoo ritual or the like. It was pretty simple really. I can't actually tell you the details or the materials I used in it but, like I said, it's pretty basic. I was afraid it wouldn't work. What I can tell you is that I needed to gather personal items of hers.

No human sacrifices. No bones. No fresh blood. It was pretty normal for me. But it was kinda hard to gather all those things. Gathering them not the hard part. It was the memories in those items that was hard. Sigh..the memories...

Anyway...After all the necessary things are done, well it seemed that it didn't worked. I'm not stupid. I shouldn't be believing in it. I know that. But I can't feeling like really disappointed. I just wanted to try it out. See if it could really work. But nope. Nothing happen. At least nothing I could see.

There was something...but I don't know if it was real or I just imagine it. It was strange though. Well first of all, I had turned off all the fans, the air conditioner and the windows were closed tight. So you can guess from that statement that I was sweating more than usual. Right, and then there was this sudden chill in the room. Just like that. This was after I finished what I did.

The drop in temp. wasn't slowly. It was just like snapping your fingers. SNAP! Just like that. One minute I was hot as hell, sweating like a squealing pig getting ready to get slaughtered. The next, I was as cold as the North Pole. Or is it South Pole? Which pole is colder?

lol getting off-topic there. Anyway, general knowledge question there for you guys. For a chance.

Anyway, I thought maybe someone harn turn on the fan or the A/C but it was already late. I'm the only still up at that time. The rest of the family had gone to sleep by that time. So I had to check it out. But by the time I turned around, it was gone. The 'cold'. It's gone. Just as quick as it first came maybe. It was hot then but I wasn't sweating anymore. Even my clothes were dry.

I couldn't have imagine it, right? You tell me. I don't understand anything anymore.
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So today's my birthday.
13th April.
Don't wanna tell you how old I am now. lol

Man I'm getting older. Hehe ;)

ok...what the hell...

Happy birthday to me!
Happy birthday to me!!
Happy birthday to D.Jim!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEE!!!!
Yoohoo!!! WOOWEEE!!

Lol i guess that's it for now. Bye. See ya at my next birthday! :D
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Hey
Guess what?
My choir group won first place for my school's internal choir competition!!
Yeah!!

lol Anywhere it was a close call between us and the other group.
In my opinion, the other group was much nicer than us.
I guess the judges like our group more.

I don't regret ever joining the choir. It's fun to sing and just let go.

I'm sure our group leader, Sham, is happy n relieved that we won.
He did an amazing job of guiding us n teaching even when we were playing around n not taking it seriously.
How he had put up with us..

Just wanna say thanks man. Don't know you that well but I'm grateful to you for your hard work and hope you for the best. We couldn't have done it without you.

And for the rest of the gang, Eqah, Sharifah, Rynie, Fyrah, Lely, Kalaf, Sepol and the rest of the group members. Just wanna say thanks to you guys for everything and I could not ask for better friends than u guys.

And for Sir Remi, with his tough body...I wanna thank you for teaching how to sing properly, do everything properly basically. Even if you can be a lil intimidating but you were patient n nice to us all the same. So thank you for everything Sir!

Before I go, here's a lil pic of the prize we were given by the principal. It's not much but at least it's a solid proof that we won. (sorry if it's a lil blurry.)
Basically it's saying we are the champion for the category B of the choir competition.

One last time. ONE SOUND, ONE VOIIIICE!!!!!! (or is it the other way round:P?)
LOL;)

Well I guess that's all for now I guess. Till next update. See ya!
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Well I'm too lazy to write anything interesting right now so..
just gona write something random ...

umm...
uummmm....

This is my first time writing a blog here but I used to have a blog elsewhere but I'm too lazy to write it anymore.

Now I wanted to write again, so might as well make a new blog.

Ummm...I guess that's all.

(Sorry if it's boring for the very first post but I'm really lazy to write anything right now. I'll try to write something more 'interesting next time.)
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